Dissociation of the child within? The child within of most of us, gets stuck in a state of suspended animation forever, such that most of us perish inwardly before we even reach adulthood. Our emotional dissociation overcome us and snuff out our spirit. Our family systems convert our minds into continued dissociation. We lose our creativity and intuition, we block out emotional reality of our childhoods, and we become consuming automatons. We survive in order to live for dissociated comfort, happiness, and emotional camouflage. We become the society norm.
Our child within death rate the world over is high. Yet the people of that who take the statistics and rule the governments and make the children and devote their careers to “educating” them are by and large dead themselves, and part of their deadness involves ignoring this. They lack connection to their own inner psychic nutrients and instead get them from feeding, like vultures, on the energy of the vulnerable ones who are still alive. And because this is so normal no one bats an eye. It is indefensible, yet families and society are structured to defend it. And the easiest way to defend it is to say that it’s not even happening.
It is a painful thing to wake up fighting for our child within. It breaks rules. It angers the norm. It enrages parents. It puts a target on our back. And it hurts. It hurts like hell. It hurts to rip down the psychic prison wall and feel the old traumas and disrespect, the old longings, the old memories. It hurts to grieve, to feel the rage, to confront our perpetrators who haunt our memories, to break the denial of a normalised? society. It hurts to shed the mask of comfort and walk into our dissociated despair. It hurts to reject the fantasy of one day being loved by those who never really loved you and instead drank and regurgitate our psychic blood. It hurts to leave the family system behind. It hurts to stand on our own.
Yet this process of waking up, and this alone, is the pathway back to intuitive life to a long, healthy inherited life of liberty. This is healthiness for our child within.
Bad stuff can happen to us at any age, but it is the early life stuff resulting primarily from the familial actions that dissociate us the most. At this stage of our development we are the most malleable. We experience later events through the lenses of these earlier traumas, such that the earlier ones provide magnification and distortion. Early life traumas often set the stage for the later ones to happen, such that people not infrequently unconsciously replicate earlier traumatic situations and relationships. You would think that this would give us more incentive to hold our families, educators accountable, yet often we do the opposite. We find comfort in blaming our life’s woes solely on later relationship traumas, as if they happened outside of our historic family context. This can allow us to still feel some of the pain and rage and sorrow of having been traumatised yet simultaneously maintain a close relationship with our abusive families. We place the blame outside our family unit and in so doing protect our troubled family system, never having to heal their root traumas, and never have to face that reality of our painful truth.
Dissociation Diagnosis Trauma Amnesia - Trauma Amnesia is a form of cognitive suppression where an abuse victim has trouble remembering episodes where their boundaries have been violated.
Dissociation is an action which you have had chosen for you, more than an emotion like fear or grief.Its acquired numbness.Similar to these emotions is registers in the emotional brain as a deeply painful feeling. Dissociation can be seen in you when you want to hide or disappear as if you are a thoroughly bad person. You hang your head or hunch down, sagging your shoulders. You can’t look anyone in the eye.There is a reason for the pain in dissociation, you are running away, hiding out.
During dissy moments you may even say you want to die. We strongly believe that the origin of our feelings of dissociation are rooted in early experiences of the family, group, tribe or social group sending signals of rejection to us. We are ostracised, shunned by our tribe or excommunicated from our family of origin.
There is need for discernment because many report that a large majority of dissociation patients have a strong (but hidden) death wish. They may have given up hope on life. This set of the inner person against life will not be healed by affirmations. Even if the dissociation is explained, until the work of the ten stages is entered into the dissociation patient may constantly relapse. The real problem may not be the cancer of dissociation (symptom) it may by the patient (unconscious choice to give up.)
This is why it is important to seek ten stage wisdom in meditation - Stage One: listen to meditation of letting go. Watch closely and ask some questions to discern the heartiness of the person's commitment to live, reasons to live. Were they closely bonded to one person who became their life?
One of the profiles of the dissociated patient is a life where only one parent was the source of love and where only one other person was allowed into their heart. When that one person dies then they quietly let go of life. (Even if you are married to such a person you may not be the one person that they bonded to. It might be another love, or a child.)
If you have dissociation in your life meditate on the ten stages understanding any possible wish to die and choose life positively daily. Meditation firstly clears the path to health.
