Having a Lightbulb Moment

Having a Lightbulb Moment is the description many non-dissociated individuals use when they first discover the existence of Dissociation. For the first time, they have discovered a plausible explanation for the strange and frightening behaviours of a loved-one or family member who suffers from an addiction and learn that their situation is not uncommon. It is as if a light were just turned on.

Feeling Trapped by an-others dissociation

Feeling Trapped by an-others dissociation - Most people who have a relationship with someone who suffers from dissociation would like to bring an end to the relationship but are unable to or afraid to end it because they feel trapped in some way.

Feeling Isolated with a dissociated person

Feeling Isolated with a dissociated person - It's common for people who have a relationship with someone who suffers from a dissociation disorder to systematically isolate themselves from other external relationships.

Are you being Gaslighted?

Are you being Gaslighted - The practice of brainwashing or convincing a mentally healthy individual that they are going insane or that their understanding of reality is mistaken or false. The term “Gaslighting” is based on the 1944 MGM movie “Gaslight”.

Casting You as the Crazy One

In the classic suspense thriller, Gaslight, Paula (Ingrid Bergman) marries the villainous Gregory Anton (Charles Boyer), not realizing that he is the one who murdered her aunt and is now searching for her missing jewels.
To cover up his treachery, he tries to persuade Paula that she is going mad, so he can search the attic for the jewels without her interference. He plants missing objects on her person in order to make her believe that she has no recollection of reality. He tries to isolate her, not allowing her to have visitors or to leave the house.

If this sounds somehow familiar, you have probably encountered the form of psychological abuse we call Gaslighting. Essentially, it describes forms of manipulation which are designed to make the victim lose their grip on the truth or doubt their perception of reality.

What it Looks Like
A family member who steals something from you tries to convince you that it belongs to them.
A person acts threateningly and then accuses you of abuse when you react in self-defense.
A spouse tries to persuade you that you said or did something that you know is inaccurate.

How it Feels

Gaslighting can be a terrifying experience. It can quickly put you on the defensive - trying to justify your own actions or behaviors - when you started out by challenging someone else’s questionable behavior.

A gaslighting perpetrator's fabrications may be presented so convincingly and with such conviction you begin to question yourself and your own memories and judgment. You may begin to fear that other people - who don’t know the truth - might be persuaded believe some of the distortions.

What NOT to do:
Don’t equate intelligence with character - just because someone can run rings around you in an argument doesn’t mean they are right.
Don’t waste your time trying to convince someone who has already made up their mind about you that they should reconsider.
Don’t argue with a person who is fabricating the facts. Wait for them to return to reality before engaging them in a discussion and do it on YOUR terms - not theirs.
Don’t allow yourself to be isolated from others against our own better judgment. Insist on your right to have your own friends and family.
Don’t blame yourself for what the other person is feeling or how they are behaving. Don’t look for ways to change yourself to try to fix another person. As the OOTF 3 C's mantra says: “You didn’t cause it, you can’t cure it and you can’t control it.” You are only responsible for your own words and actions.
Don’t stay in the room if the situation becomes physically, verbally or emotionally unhealthy or unsafe.
Don’t go it alone or keep what you are experiencing a secret.

What TO do:
Remind yourself that you are not to blame for the other person’s behavior.
Detach yourself from feeling responsible for how another person is feeling, behaving or thinking.
Turn your attention on your own behavior and your own thought patterns. Discard the unhealthy and learn what is healthy for yourself and pursue it - regardless of what reaction you get from the person with the Personality Disorder.
Talk about it! Talk to trusted friends and family about what you are dealing with.
If you are ever confronted with violence or abuse, get yourself and any children immediately out of the room and call for help. Report all acts of violence, threats of violence or self-harm to the police immediately every time.
Maintain your healthy lifestyle and thought life. You will need them. If necessary, explain to your loved-one gently, but firmly that you are doing what you need to do for yourself and then close the conversation.

The Secret of The Ten Stages

A woman who had been suffering from internal bleeding for several years was miraculously healed after she touched the prophet.

As explained in the Gospel of Mark:

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about the prophet, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

At once the prophet realised that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"

"You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?' "

But the prophet kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

- Mark 5:25-34, NIV translation.
Open your eyes. Like shooting stars miracles begin to happen years before you notice them. Everything you need & are meant to become is already within you.Wake up our Child Within.

While the prophet was walking to Jairus' house, a woman suffering from internal bleeding touched the prophet and was healed (Matthew 9:20-22, Mark 5:25-34, Luke 8:43-48). Before the prophet arrived at Jairus' house, Jairus was told that his daughter was already dead. The prophet went to his home and brought his daughter back to life.

As described in the Gospel of Luke:

Then a man named Jairus, a synagogue leader, came and fell at the prophets' feet, pleading with him to come to his house because his only daughter, a girl of about twelve, was dying.

As the prophet was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him.

. .While the prophet was still speaking, someone came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader. "Your daughter is dead," he said. "Don't bother the teacher anymore."

Hearing this, the prophet said to Jairus, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed."

When he arrived at the house of Jairus, he did not let anyone go in with him except Peter, John and James, and the child's father and mother. Meanwhile, all the people were wailing and mourning for her. "Stop wailing," the prophet said. "She is not dead but asleep."

They laughed at him, knowing that she was dead. But he took her by the hand and said, "My child, get up!" Her spirit returned, and at once she stood up. Then the prophet told them to give her something to eat. Her parents were astonished, but he ordered them not to tell anyone what had happened.

- Luke 8:41-42, 49-56, NIV translation.

We recover our sense of wonder and our sense of the child within only if we appreciate the universe beyond ourselves

We recover our sense of wonder and our sense of the child within only if we appreciate the universe beyond ourselves as a revelatory experience of that numinous presence whence all things came into being. Indeed, the universe is the primary reality. We become awakened by our participation in this more sublime dimension of the world about us.